*Post-Funeral Family Time

     Funerals are always such a mixture of feelings between sadness for the loss of a loved one, and joy for the chance to be with loved ones who you may not often see.  The Relief Society sisters made so much wonderful food for our family and there was plenty to take home.  The luncheon was chicken salad sandwiches so we decided to bring the leftovers up to the Colorado National Monument for a picnic dinner.  It was extra cool because we actually saw some big-horned sheep as we drove up the monument.  In all the years I've been married to Daren we've visited the monument several times and I have never seen any big-horned sheep before.  Kelsey fell asleep on her way up there so we made her a little bed on one of the stone picnic tables where she slept for about half an hour or so.  We had a nice time visiting more with family.  The girls entertained themselves by asking me to take pictures of them while they were in midair jumping from table to table.  They also had fun playing in the stone drinking fountain.  Uncle Archie took his two girls on a hike and climbed up to a high cliff.  The views from the monument are spectacular and I found myself taking lots of pictures of the monument and the city below.

Kelsey and Diana are two cousins that have a very special friendship.

Kelsey is finally waking up.

John with Devin and Kyla, Kathleen chatting with Uncle Carl

Silly Haylee! :)

Nate likes marshmallows!

*Dale Calvin Hardy Funeral-Part Two

Dale Calvin Hardy

September 28, 1939-July 22, 2011 

     Grandpa's funeral was held July 28, 2011.  The chapel was full!  Grandma gave the eulogy.  It may be unusual but she said she wanted to make sure it was done the way she wrote it and she knew she couldn't be sure unless she delivered it herself.  She did a great job and it was a wonderful eulogy.  In fact, I'm going to ask her to send me a copy so I can include it.  Like I said, because we knew Grandpa's time was short, a lot of funeral preparations were already made.  For the program, Grandma had collected letters that the kids had written to their dad when they were young.  They were very sweet.  A couple of the kids had more than one letter and I actually can't remember anymore which ones were part of the program.  But they're all sweet so I'll just go ahead and include them all.

Written by Daren

Here are some pictures from the funeral:

Everyone of Grandpa's living siblings was there.
Back row (L-R): Louise Fitches, Darlene Hales, Dave Hardy, Lyle Hardy
Front Row (L-R): Caroline Escujuri, Helen McKague, Lorraine Watts

Siblings and their spouses, Uncle Boyd, and Grandma
Back Row (L-R): Dean & Louise, Archie & Carolyn, Darlene, David & Linda, Lyle & Linda
Front Row (L-R): Grandpa's Uncle Boyd Hogan, Carl & Helen, Lorraine (couldn't find Verdun), and Grandma Bobbi

A bunch of second cousins hanging out after the luncheon.
Back row (L-R): Mackenzie, Haylee, Caleb Fleming, Grant Fleming
Front row (L-R): Kelsey, Audry Herbstritt, Diana Fleming, Tori Cluff, Bently Herbstritt, ??, Lizzy Cluff

*Grandpa's Funeral- Part One, Daren's Talk

     Being intimidated by the amount of pictures and information to fit into this post, I have really put it off.  So for now, I'm going to break it up into smaller posts.  I also need to find the disks with my pictures.

     Summer 2011 was a difficult one for our family because Grandpa Hardy passed away.  Grandpa's health has been bad for some time now.  But he always miraculously made it through the many previous health scares before and it seemed like he would always cheat death and we'd have him forever.  But he finally became too ill to continue his dialysis and without that, we knew he wouldn't hold on much longer.
     We had already planned a trip to Colorado for a family reunion months before, not knowing that it would fall so near Grandpa's passing.  We ended up leaving a few days earlier than scheduled when we found out how sick Grandpa was.  Daren wanted to be sure to see his dad.  He did hang on for another week after we got there so we all got to say our goodbyes and see him a few times.  It was hard because when we took the kids to see him, they could see just how sick he was.  He wasn't very responsive when we were there but we hoped that he was aware of our presence even if it was too much for him to let us know.
     It was difficult timing because we wondered if we should bother going to our family reunion and leave Dad/Grandpa in his condition.  Daren's mom insisted that the kids all head up to the campground and she would stay with him so he wouldn't be alone.  On our way to Ragged Mountain, we stopped by and said goodbye one more time, just in case he wasn't there when we got back.  That night, he passed away.  Daren's mom joined us the next day so that she could be surrounded by her children.  Our mountain trip was cut a little short so that we could get back and hold the funeral.  Most of the funeral had already been planned.  Dale was the oldest of 9 children.  His younger sister, Kathy, lost her battle to cancer the year before, but his other siblings began to pour into town.  There was so much family!  As sad as the occasion is, funerals are always a wonderful time as well because of the joy of being with loved ones that you don't see very often.
     Daren gave the spiritual message at the funeral and he did such a good job.  I thought I'd end this first post with Daren's talk.  It's not just a spiritual message but a wonderful tribute to his father.


Funeral Talk for Dale Calvin Hardy

     I have been given the privilege of sharing some of my memories of my father to try to help illustrate gospel principles.  I hope that I can do my father justice since he taught them well through example. 

How to be Cheerful:

     Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

     My dad had a good outlook on life and found great joy in nature, sports, the comic section of the newspaper, good books, service, and spending time with his family. He made it clear that being  together with his immediate and extended family was his favorite place to be.  Despite the many trials that he faced in life, he usually had a smile on his face.

Missionary Service:

     D&C 4:3 Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God, ye are called to the work.

     Dad shared his love of the gospel and enjoyed  telling stories of his mission to Southern California (especially if you asked him  to).   He served as a full time missionary for 2 years during the civil rights movement , prior to revelation permitting Blacks to receive the priesthood. Once when he came to visit me in Lancaster, we went to Griffith Park.  He told me that once there was a race riot there shortly after he had left the park.  He taught me that serving the Lord was fun and I was impressed by stories he told of helping part member families unite and prepare to go to the temple to be sealed.  He was a great missionary and served the Lord his entire life.

     Dad also strove to be a good home teacher.  He would go out regularly and strove to meet the needs of those he was assigned, even when some of them did not want to meet with him.  He also served as a ward missionary and helped share the gospel with his neighbors.  He spoke of the joy he felt teaching the gospel, and I am sure that he is continuing to share his love of the Lord with people on the other side of the veil. 

How to Judge:

     In Mathew 7:1-2  it says “Judge not that ye be not judged, for with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged:  and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured  unto you again. “

     Dad had the skill of measuring people generously.  I never heard him say anything ill about another person.  Every person he met was honest, kind, and helpful in my father’s eyes.  He served as the executive secretary for the Grand Junction West Stake of the LDS Church for several years, and instead of complaining about having to make lots of phone calls, he felt it an honor to be able to serve with the great men on the High Council and in the stake presidency.  He often talked about how great the meetings were, even though he would never tell me what they talked about. 

     He also served as treasurer of Kiwanis and talked about how great the people  there were.  He always seemed  to find the good in others.  Even when people spoke ill of him, he would talk kindly about them.   Since God will measure my dad by the same criteria my dad used to measure others, he is in great shape eternally.

Personal Relationship with God:

     In Phillipians 2:12 it says, “ Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absences,  work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” 

     My father taught me that salvation is about what you do when no one is present.  He taught me that you must know God personally through prayer and services.  He liked to say,” If a hypocrite comes between you and the Lord, it means that they were closer to God than you are.”  He attended his meetings regularly, and enjoyed the fellowship he found there, but his main focus was to follow God’s plan so that he could help his family be together forever.  I know that my father felt the Holy Ghost in this life, and that he tried to follow the feelings in his own heart.  He loved the Savior.

Service:

     My father spent his life in the service of others.  That services took place in the Kiwanis group, in the LDS Church, and any time he saw a need.  He served when the need was there, even when it was not convenient.  He was an accountant and during tax season, he would work many hours.  Despite the long hours he worked, he still was able to make it to church meetings, kept the Sabbath day holy,  and spent time showing each of his children that they were loved.  Growing up, we had to go in to help him copy tax forms and update law books.  He had us come help  so that he could spend time with his kids even during his busy season.  One evening while we were working at his office in Mesa Feed, a homeless man walked to the door and asked for food.  My dad went a step further.  He directed  the man to a local soup kitchen so that he could get help for more than one meal. 

     In Mathew 25:34-40 “Then shall the king say unto them on his Right hand,  Come ye blessed of my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world, for I was an hungered and ye gave me meat, sick and ye visited me:  I was in prison and ye came unto me,

Then shall the righteous answer him saying, Lord, when saw we  unto him, When saw we thee hungry and fed thee, or thirsty and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger and took thee in, or naked and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick or in prison and came unto thee? 

     And the King answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, in as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” 

Dad was a busy man, but he never turned down a chance to serve others.  He once told me , “ This is the Church of Jesus Christ,  I’ve prayed to know that the people we sustain have been called of God.  I know that they are striving to serve him.  If they ask me to do something, I will, because that is what the Lord wants at that time.  I will always do what the Lord asks me to do, no matter how hard it is.  Nothing I’ve been asked to do compares with what Christ did for me at Gethsemene.”

     From my dad’s example I learned to follow the inspiration of our church leaders.  He taught me that instead of wondering how it is possible for me to fulfill a calling, I should accept it and see how much I grow as I work to live up to the trust God put in me.

Being There:

     My father taught me the importance of being there for his children.  Despite his failing  health, he made trips to California  be there for baby blessings and baptisms.   Money was tight for my parents when I was scheduled to be made a high priest.  They could not afford a plane or a train ticket to enable him to attend my ordination, so he rode 12 hours in a van with my children to get to the ordination, then he rode a Greyhound bus from Los Angeles to Grand Junction, a 24 hour ride filled with unsavory characters, in order to ordain me a high priest. He sacrificed sleep, comfort, and safety to be there on my special day.   I have never needed my father an had him not be there for me.  It’s hard to imagine life without him.

Patience:

     My father taught me patience through fishing and sports.  He was willing to wait hours without a nibble in the hope of getting a fish.  He was willing to cheer for the BYU Cougars, even when they had a poor year.   It is sad to imagine football season without my dad telling  how great the cougars played and how they should  have won .  It is particularly hard this year since he would have loved to see all of the games on ESPN.  He never left a game early because he was convinced  that given enough  time, his team would emerge victorious.

Anger:

     My father showed me that Anger was a choice, and that you can chose to control it.  Watching TV with him, you could see that he felt things deeply, but he was able to control it.  When he would discipline his children he would always talk to them to make sure that they understood the principle he was trying to convey.  Once I was disrespectful to my mom at the dinner table so my dad walked me out of the room and told me that he was going to give me a spanking.  He explained that he does not like doing it, but that he did not know a better way to get the point across.  I told him that I thought I would remember that message better if he gave Dalyne a spanking.  After he finished laughing, I was taught my lesson.

Sealing your family together:

     Mark 10:9 says, “ What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

     My father taught me the importance of having our family sealed  together by the power of God in his Holy Temple.  My Dad chose to marry my mother for all eternity in the Manti Temple.  He ran out of gas on the way there, but made sure that when he committed to my mother that it would be forever.  It is hard to imagine my mom without my dad.  They have stuck together through rich times, through poor times, in sickness, and in health but to limit to as long as you both shall live seems insufficient.  Their marriage did not end last week.  Through the grace and power of our savior Jesus Christ, they will be together again.  I am grateful to my parents for teaching me this truth, and for being there as made the choice to follow their example and seal myself to my bride and children.  I am also grateful to my father for always showing us that my mom was his most cherished friend and that our family was the most importing thing on earth to him.

Atonement:

     Article of Faith 2 says “We believe that through the atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.”

     The last story I wish to share with you I call the parable of the pick-up truck, even that my wife is convinced it is not an actual  parable because it really happened.

     When I was attending BYU, I had ‘74 Datsun Pickup.  It worked most of the time, but seemed to need a new part weekly.  At Thanksgiving time, I decided to drive it home to Colorado.  I replaced the parts that seemed most likely to give out, checked the hoses, checked the belts, replaced the fluids, prayed, and called my parents to tell them that I was on my way home.    I did all that I could do and put my trust in the Lord to get me home.  I exercised my faith in my truck and made it to Green River without issue, but once I passed Green River, the truck did what you would expect from a 20 year old truck.  It broke down.  It was about 3AM  when I got to a phone and called my dad.  He  immediately got up, drove to me, and  helped me tow the truck to our house to work on it.  He helped me get it running and back to Provo.

    I’d like to say this was an isolated incident, but my family can attest that it was not. Even though it usually resulted in a late night rescue mission, my dad never suggested that I not come home for a break.  He just rescued me every time I fell short.

You are probably wondering why I call this the parable of the Pick-up truck.  The reason why is that it helped me to understand the atonement better.  Different elements depict different things.  The old pickup truck represents each of us.  Checking the fluids,  belts and hoses represents scripture study, prayer, fasting, and temple attendance.  The voyage home represents earth life.  Thanksgiving at home represents the celestial kingdom, and my Dad represents the Savior.

     Heavenly father wants us back with him, just like my family wanted me there for Thanksgiving.  We need to prepare ourselves to live a good life through study and prayer just like I needed to prepare my pickup for the trip home. 

     After the preparation is done, we still need to do all that we can do, just like I needed to drive as far as I could in my truck. As Christ’s little brother James said in 2:20 Faith without works is dead.” So we need to try to drive home on our own.

     The trip is worth it but we won’t make it back to heavenly fathers presence on our own.  20 year old trucks rarely make 4 hour drives without issues.

     Once we break down, Christ will come and rescue us.  He knows what needs fixing, has the part on hand, and will get us the rest of the way home, just like my dad would always rescue me.

     When I start to feel sad about the loss of my father, I try to imagine him in a pickup truck being towed home from Green River by the Savior.  I know that my father loved the Savior, that he loved me, and that he is receiving the reward for a life well lived.

     I testify that Christ Lives,  that death is conquered, that we can all return to our heavenly fathers presence by doing all that we can, then asking Christ to take us the rest of the way.  I am grateful to my father for teaching me these truths.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

*Old Phone Pictures

I mentioned before that I could finally get all my pictures off my phone.  Some of these are actually from 2010 but since they were trapped on my phone they didn't make it into the 2010 blog book.  So here they are!

Nathan-October 9, 2010

Kelsey in the ball pit-Oct. 9, 2010

Kelsey at the dr. office-Nov. 10, 2010

Kelsey fell asleep sitting straight up at Grandma Moffitt's house.
November 13, 2010

Grandma Poetschlag showing off her new hairclip at the Relief Society Christmas activity.
December 1, 2010

Nathan-December 25, 2010

Mackenzie and Nathan-December 25, 2010

Nathan getting messy-January 6, 2011

Guess Who? January 20, 2011

January 22, 2011

March 15, 2011

Nate trying on my friend's hat- March 16, 2011

Mackenzie at the dr. office- March 29, 2011

Look at all those teeth! April 6, 2011

Kelsey Rose- April 6, 2011

Mackenzie lost a tooth! April 23, 2011

Kelsey got a balloon and hat at the grocery store!
May 13, 2011

Then she fell asleep that night holding her balloon under the kitchen table.

All four girls swinging at the park!
May 21, 2011

So cute with his little tongue sticking out!
May 26, 2011

My Facebook Confession and Our Happy News

     I'm going to start at the beginning. I found out the very end of March that we were going to have a little surprise blessing sometime in November. Now, Daren and I never announce such blessings until I have been to the doctor and we are sure that everything is going to be okay. But Daren had a very "funny" thought. Since April Fool's Day was so close, he thought it would be funny to announce our news to our families on that day. I had doubts. However, when I walked into the bedroom and heard Daren on the phone telling his mother and realized that she didn't believe him one bit, I admit that I found it amusing. So I decided to text my sister and tell her the news. It went like this:

Me: Guess what?
Amy: What?
Me: I'm pregnant.
Amy: Hahaha! Happy April Fool's Day. I knew you were going to say that.
Me (chuckling to myself): Happy April Fool's Day!

     Well, I was so amused and had so much fun with that little experiment that I thought how much more fun it would be to post it on facebook and have none of my friends believe me. Then, when the time was right, I could post an ultrasound picture and tease about people not believing me. Unfortunately, things did not go exactly as planned. In fact, it pretty much backfired completely. EVERYONE was congratulating me. I had a few non-believers, mostly family members. But even when I logged into facebook under Daren's name and posted: "I hate finding out about these things on facebook!" the congratulatory comments continued. I finally logged back into my own account and posted a comment underneath that said, "Hahaha! Happy April Fool's Everyone!" or something along those lines.
      Then came the guilt. Friends posted that I had 'gotten them' and I was feeling guilty for deceiving them. But I just wasn't ready to make an announcement yet since I was only like 5 weeks pregnant. I finally went to the doctor a few weeks ago and everything looks great. But after my little April Fool's fiasco, I was a little more embarrassed to announce to facebook our happy news. But here it is. Mother's Day seemed like the perfect day to tell everyone that I AM going to be a mom again. Although unexpected, we had been thinking we had room for one more in our home. After Nate was born, I felt like my body had done it's job and bringing 5 kids into the world was putting it through enough. We talked about possibly adopting. I have a friend who is going through the foster to adoption process. She currently has a foster baby. When she told me the long procedure it took for them to get to that point, I wondered how I could possibly ever go through it. In fact, deep down, I knew I wouldn't. I felt like it was just going to be the five kids and I was okay with that.
      When I found out I had another little peanut growing inside me, I had to reconcile myself that my body was going to have to do this one more time. But I am excited that we are going to get our 6th baby after all, even though it turns out I am going to do it myself. I have realized that even though I felt like I was too weak to ever go through it again, I actually feel pretty good right now. I think Heavenly Father wants us to have this baby and he is going to help me make it happen. I can't wait to find out if it's a girl or a boy so I can start picking out names. So despite being a surprise, it's a good surprise and we are grateful. And I am sorry to everyone for my April Fool's "prank" gone awry. :)