Summer 2011 was a difficult one for our family because Grandpa Hardy passed away. Grandpa's health has been bad for some time now. But he always miraculously made it through the many previous health scares before and it seemed like he would always cheat death and we'd have him forever. But he finally became too ill to continue his dialysis and without that, we knew he wouldn't hold on much longer.
We had already planned a trip to Colorado for a family reunion months before, not knowing that it would fall so near Grandpa's passing. We ended up leaving a few days earlier than scheduled when we found out how sick Grandpa was. Daren wanted to be sure to see his dad. He did hang on for another week after we got there so we all got to say our goodbyes and see him a few times. It was hard because when we took the kids to see him, they could see just how sick he was. He wasn't very responsive when we were there but we hoped that he was aware of our presence even if it was too much for him to let us know.
It was difficult timing because we wondered if we should bother going to our family reunion and leave Dad/Grandpa in his condition. Daren's mom insisted that the kids all head up to the campground and she would stay with him so he wouldn't be alone. On our way to Ragged Mountain, we stopped by and said goodbye one more time, just in case he wasn't there when we got back. That night, he passed away. Daren's mom joined us the next day so that she could be surrounded by her children. Our mountain trip was cut a little short so that we could get back and hold the funeral. Most of the funeral had already been planned. Dale was the oldest of 9 children. His younger sister, Kathy, lost her battle to cancer the year before, but his other siblings began to pour into town. There was so much family! As sad as the occasion is, funerals are always a wonderful time as well because of the joy of being with loved ones that you don't see very often.
Daren gave the spiritual message at the funeral and he did such a good job. I thought I'd end this first post with Daren's talk. It's not just a spiritual message but a wonderful tribute to his father.
Funeral Talk for Dale Calvin Hardy
I have been
given the privilege of sharing some of my memories of my father to try to help
illustrate gospel principles. I hope
that I can do my father justice since he taught them well through example.
How to be Cheerful:
Proverbs
17:22 says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit
drieth the bones.”
My dad had a good outlook on life and found
great joy in nature, sports, the comic section of the newspaper, good books, service,
and spending time with his family. He made it clear that being together with his immediate and extended
family was his favorite place to be. Despite
the many trials that he faced in life, he usually had a smile on his face.
Missionary
Service:
D&C 4:3
Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God, ye are called to the work.
Dad shared
his love of the gospel and enjoyed
telling stories of his mission to Southern California (especially if you
asked him to). He served as a full time missionary for 2
years during the civil rights movement , prior to revelation permitting Blacks
to receive the priesthood. Once when he came to visit me in Lancaster, we went
to Griffith Park. He told me that once
there was a race riot there shortly after he had left the park. He taught me that serving the Lord was fun
and I was impressed by stories he told of helping part member families unite
and prepare to go to the temple to be sealed.
He was a great missionary and served the Lord his entire life.
Dad also
strove to be a good home teacher. He
would go out regularly and strove to meet the needs of those he was assigned,
even when some of them did not want to meet with him. He also served as a ward missionary and
helped share the gospel with his neighbors.
He spoke of the joy he felt teaching the gospel, and I am sure that he
is continuing to share his love of the Lord with people on the other side of
the veil.
How to Judge:
In Mathew 7:1-2 it says “Judge not that ye be not judged, for
with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be
measured unto you again. “
Dad had the skill of measuring people
generously. I never heard him say
anything ill about another person. Every
person he met was honest, kind, and helpful in my father’s eyes. He served as the executive secretary for the
Grand Junction West Stake of the LDS Church for several years, and instead of
complaining about having to make lots of phone calls, he felt it an honor to be
able to serve with the great men on the High Council and in the stake
presidency. He often talked about how
great the meetings were, even though he would never tell me what they talked
about.
He also
served as treasurer of Kiwanis and talked about how great the people there were.
He always seemed to find the good
in others. Even when people spoke ill of
him, he would talk kindly about them.
Since God will measure my dad by the same criteria my dad used to
measure others, he is in great shape eternally.
Personal
Relationship with God:
In
Phillipians 2:12 it says, “ Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed,
not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absences, work out your own salvation with fear and
trembling.”
My father
taught me that salvation is about what you do when no one is present. He taught me that you must know God
personally through prayer and services.
He liked to say,” If a hypocrite comes between you and the Lord, it
means that they were closer to God than you are.” He attended his meetings regularly, and
enjoyed the fellowship he found there, but his main focus was to follow God’s
plan so that he could help his family be together forever. I know that my father felt the Holy Ghost in
this life, and that he tried to follow the feelings in his own heart. He loved the Savior.
Service:
My father
spent his life in the service of others.
That services took place in the Kiwanis group, in the LDS Church, and
any time he saw a need. He served when
the need was there, even when it was not convenient. He was an accountant and during tax season,
he would work many hours. Despite the
long hours he worked, he still was able to make it to church meetings, kept the
Sabbath day holy, and spent time showing
each of his children that they were loved.
Growing up, we had to go in to help him copy tax forms and update law
books. He had us come help so that he could spend time with his kids
even during his busy season. One evening
while we were working at his office in Mesa Feed, a homeless man walked to the
door and asked for food. My dad went a
step further. He directed the man to a local soup kitchen so that he
could get help for more than one meal.
In Mathew
25:34-40 “Then shall the king say unto them on his Right hand, Come ye blessed of my father, inherit the
kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world, for I was an
hungered and ye gave me meat, sick and ye visited me: I was in prison and ye came unto me,
Then shall the
righteous answer him saying, Lord, when saw we
unto him, When saw we thee hungry and fed thee, or thirsty and gave thee
drink? When saw we thee a stranger and took thee in, or naked and clothed thee?
Or when saw we thee sick or in prison and came unto thee?
And the King
answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, in as much as ye have done
it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”
Dad was a
busy man, but he never turned down a chance to serve others. He once told me , “ This is the Church of
Jesus Christ, I’ve prayed to know that
the people we sustain have been called of God.
I know that they are striving to serve him. If they ask me to do something, I will,
because that is what the Lord wants at that time. I will always do what the Lord asks me to do,
no matter how hard it is. Nothing I’ve
been asked to do compares with what Christ did for me at Gethsemene.”
From my dad’s
example I learned to follow the inspiration of our church leaders. He taught me that instead of wondering how it
is possible for me to fulfill a calling, I should accept it and see how much I
grow as I work to live up to the trust God put in me.
Being There:
My father
taught me the importance of being there for his children. Despite his failing health, he made trips to California be there for baby blessings and
baptisms. Money was tight for my
parents when I was scheduled to be made a high priest. They could not afford a plane or a train
ticket to enable him to attend my ordination, so he rode 12 hours in a van with
my children to get to the ordination, then he rode a Greyhound bus from Los
Angeles to Grand Junction, a 24 hour ride filled with unsavory characters, in
order to ordain me a high priest. He sacrificed sleep, comfort, and safety to
be there on my special day. I have
never needed my father an had him not be there for me. It’s hard to imagine life without him.
Patience:
My father
taught me patience through fishing and sports.
He was willing to wait hours without a nibble in the hope of getting a
fish. He was willing to cheer for the
BYU Cougars, even when they had a poor year.
It is sad to imagine football season without my dad telling how great the cougars played and how they should
have won . It is particularly hard this year since he
would have loved to see all of the games on ESPN. He never left a game early because he was
convinced that given enough time, his team would emerge victorious.
Anger:
My father
showed me that Anger was a choice, and that you can chose to control it. Watching TV with him, you could see that he
felt things deeply, but he was able to control it. When he would discipline his children he
would always talk to them to make sure that they understood the principle he
was trying to convey. Once I was
disrespectful to my mom at the dinner table so my dad walked me out of the room
and told me that he was going to give me a spanking. He explained that he does not like doing it,
but that he did not know a better way to get the point across. I told him that I thought I would remember
that message better if he gave Dalyne a spanking. After he finished laughing, I was taught my
lesson.
Sealing your
family together:
Mark 10:9
says, “ What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
My father
taught me the importance of having our family sealed together by the power of God in his Holy Temple. My Dad chose to marry my mother for all
eternity in the Manti Temple. He ran out
of gas on the way there, but made sure that when he committed to my mother that
it would be forever. It is hard to
imagine my mom without my dad. They have
stuck together through rich times, through poor times, in sickness, and in
health but to limit to as long as you both shall live seems insufficient. Their marriage did not end last week. Through the grace and power of our savior
Jesus Christ, they will be together again.
I am grateful to my parents for teaching me this truth, and for being there
as made the choice to follow their example and seal myself to my bride and
children. I am also grateful to my
father for always showing us that my mom was his most cherished friend and that
our family was the most importing thing on earth to him.
Atonement:
Article of
Faith 2 says “We believe that through the atonement of Christ, all mankind may
be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.”
The last
story I wish to share with you I call the parable of the pick-up truck, even
that my wife is convinced it is not an actual parable because it really happened.
When I was
attending BYU, I had ‘74 Datsun Pickup.
It worked most of the time, but seemed to need a new part weekly. At Thanksgiving time, I decided to drive it
home to Colorado. I replaced the parts
that seemed most likely to give out, checked the hoses, checked the belts, replaced
the fluids, prayed, and called my parents to tell them that I was on my way home. I did all that I could do and put my trust
in the Lord to get me home. I exercised my
faith in my truck and made it to Green River without issue, but once I passed
Green River, the truck did what you would expect from a 20 year old truck. It broke down. It was about 3AM when I got to a phone and called my dad. He immediately got up, drove to me, and helped me tow the truck to our house to work
on it. He helped me get it running and
back to Provo.
I’d like to say this was an isolated incident,
but my family can attest that it was not. Even though it usually resulted in a
late night rescue mission, my dad never suggested that I not come home for a
break. He just rescued me every time I
fell short.
You are
probably wondering why I call this the parable of the Pick-up truck. The reason why is that it helped me to
understand the atonement better.
Different elements depict different things. The old pickup truck represents each of
us. Checking the fluids, belts and hoses represents scripture study,
prayer, fasting, and temple attendance.
The voyage home represents earth life.
Thanksgiving at home represents the celestial kingdom, and my Dad
represents the Savior.
Heavenly
father wants us back with him, just like my family wanted me there for Thanksgiving. We need to prepare ourselves to live a good
life through study and prayer just like I needed to prepare my pickup for the
trip home.
After the
preparation is done, we still need to do all that we can do, just like I needed
to drive as far as I could in my truck. As Christ’s little brother James said
in 2:20 Faith without works is dead.” So we need to try to drive home on our
own.
The trip is
worth it but we won’t make it back to heavenly fathers presence on our own. 20 year old trucks rarely make 4 hour drives
without issues.
Once we break
down, Christ will come and rescue us. He
knows what needs fixing, has the part on hand, and will get us the rest of the
way home, just like my dad would always rescue me.
When I start
to feel sad about the loss of my father, I try to imagine him in a pickup truck
being towed home from Green River by the Savior. I know that my father
loved the Savior, that he loved me, and that he is receiving the reward for a
life well lived.
I testify
that Christ Lives, that death is
conquered, that we can all return to our heavenly fathers presence by doing all
that we can, then asking Christ to take us the rest of the way. I am grateful to my father for teaching me
these truths. In the name of Jesus
Christ, Amen.
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