A couple of weeks ago Daren told about being asked by the principal to talk to Haylee about talking religion at school because it was making her friend's family uncomfortable. He joked that he was just going to high five her but we really did tell her that she should respect their feelings. It was a long weekend because of Colombus Day so the kids didn't go back to school until the following Tuesday. This is the note Haylee got from her friend on Tuesday. It was followed by another sticky note that said, "I can still talk with you but I can't 'be friends.'"
I didn't see the notes until Wednesday because Haylee didn't bring them home until then. I saw her looking at them in the car and asked what they were. She tried to hide them at first but finally let me see them. I was very upset at first. I think more upset than Haylee was. I posted a picture of the note on facebook to vent a little to my friends. I got some very comforting responses, personal experiences, and words of advice. Some people suggested delivering cookies with a nice note to the family. I don't know this family at all and didn't think Haylee could probably bring cookies to school, but I thought the note was a great idea. I figured it was a misunderstanding and if she wrote them a note apologizing for making them uncomfortable and told them she really valued their daughter's friendship and wouldn't discuss religion with her anymore, they would let their daughter be friends again.
Unfortunately I was wrong. Haylee came home from school the next day even more upset than before. She didn't write the note like I had suggested. But she did talk to her friend. She told me that she told her friend it wasn't right to judge people because of their religion. Her friend told her that her mom watched a video about Mormons and it tells the truth, the things Mormons won't tell you about themselves. Therefore, her mind was made up. This seemed to upset Haylee even more and I have to admit, gave me little hope that this problem would be resolved. I figured if their family was watching anti-Mormon videos, they were pretty poisoned against us. I felt really sorry for Haylee and asked her if she wanted me to talk to her teacher about switching seats. She said she did. I did talk to her teacher and he was so apologetic that this happened to Haylee. He said he had never encountered anything like this in over 20 years of teaching.
I am sorry that Haylee had to go through this but it has definitely provided us with lots of teaching opportunities. First of all, we told her to not hold this against her friend. It would be sad if her friend grew up feeling the same way about Mormons but it is what her parents were teaching her. We told her to continue to be nice to her. (Hopefully I can follow that advice myself if I'm ever in a situation with the mom!) The best way to refute whatever it is that video said about us is to just be kind and Christlike to others.
My favorite comment on facebook about the note was from my friend Becky Trimble. She said, "A very similar thing happened to me when I was 8. It was confusing and sad at the time but also one of my earliest memories of being comforted by the Holy Ghost. Prayers for you and your sweet child." I talked to Haylee about that and I hope that she has felt the Spirit comfort her through this and that it has made her stronger. It's been almost 2 weeks now and she seems to be doing okay.
1 comment:
why don't you have a conference with those parents? it seems pretty rude to tell haylee that she's hiding what she really believes or whatever garbage her parents told her. i hope haylee does feel comforted and that this experience doesn't keep her from sharing the gospel (although maybe not while at school :)
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