My Journal

     My blog is my journal.  I haven't written this much in a journal since I was a teenager! (Not including my mission which is really not the greatest example of a mission journal.)
     Today in church we had some wonderful speakers talk about the temple and family history work.  Celeste Eggleston was speaking about doing our family history and she also talked about writing in our journal.  She told a story that President Henry B. Eyring shared in the October 2007 General Conference.  This was the story:

     When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. Let me tell you how that got started. I came home late from a Church assignment. It was after dark. My father-in-law, who lived near us, surprised me as I walked toward the front door of my house. He was carrying a load of pipes over his shoulder, walking very fast and dressed in his work clothes. I knew that he had been building a system to pump water from a stream below us up to our property.
     He smiled, spoke softly, and then rushed past me into the darkness to go on with his work. I took a few steps toward the house, thinking of what he was doing for us, and just as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”
     I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. Grandpa didn’t have to do what he was doing for us. He could have had someone else do it or not have done it at all. But he was serving us, his family, in the way covenant disciples of Jesus Christ always do. I knew that was true. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it.
     I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.
     More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that come because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.
     The years have gone by. My boys are grown men. And now and then one of them will surprise me by saying, “Dad, I was reading in my copy of the journal about when …” and then he will tell me about how reading of what happened long ago helped him notice something God had done in his day.

     Sister Eggleston talked about how when we write in our journals we should share how we felt about our experiences, not just share the facts of what has happened.  By sharing our feelings about our experiences, they can serve to inspire our children, grandchildren, and future generations.  She shared examples of relatives that have inspired her and her husband.
     I know that I haven't been sharing anything too personal because of the nature of this blog-other people read it!  I am a very private person.  I have recently been thinking about how hard it is for me to stand up and bear my testimony during fast and testimony meetings at church.  When I was a missionary, sharing my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ was second nature to me.  I have begun to fear that the Spirit no longer prompts me to bear my testimony because of the many times that I have ignored those promptings.  Or perhaps I just can no longer feel them.  To try to change this, I got brave and stood and bore my testimony last fast and testimony meeting for the first time in who knows how many years.
     Now it is time to change the way I write my journal.  I will try to include some of my deeper feelings about the experiences our family has.  I may have to start a written journal to record my more sacred spiritual experiences that are too sacred to me to be shared.

     As I listened in church today, I thought of some recent happenings in our home that I normally wouldn't have blogged about.  But I felt like they weren't too personal to be recorded and could potentially help our family in the future.  So I would like to share this experience.  However, this post is getting very long and I may have to start a new one!
     Thank you Sister Eggleston and Sister Hawkins for the wonderful talks today.